May 2010
1 post
November 2009
2 posts
September 2009
1 post
over a month now
and i wake up every day hoping it might be my last.
this can’t be normal, and what’s strange is: i don’t want any help. i just want to be quiet and left alone.
August 2009
5 posts
I'm just really
not okay right now.
how
did
i let
it get
this
bad
?
mixed / s g i n l a s
forward, MARCH. we’re almost there—- my stare, focused on the goal, i know my place : i know my role in this army this battle this war of the heart we start to feel confident.
[then the ambush arrives] and suddenly we aren’t marching foward but sideways, and for days, back, and we lack all the momentum we previously had. SHOOT! fire! Kill—- take none. WAIT, we must...
“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my eyes and all is born...”
– Sylvia Plath
July 2009
48 posts
7009.) I hate the person I've become.
(via blogsecret)
the same old game
they held eachother on the floor, words spent, hearts bent no more breathing! [when you’ve fallen apart.]he will start to run his fingers through her hair she’ll just stare like thatfor a while;
!!that knowing smile [as the wall plays through the contents of her mind.] i am not fine, she thinks i’m not okay, and then it flashed again: the day she met him. and she suddenly...
my drunk lover
I TOOK YOUR depression off your hands: the least you could do is smile.
alternative options
how much attention do you need? how much attention can[ t ] i feed you? all i know is you will binge on everything i give you, for.give.me but you’ve grown too big to fit in my world anymore. i’m sore from making space —-> this place isn’t big enough for the both of us, so we must discuss alternative options.
dreams while high.
so nice of you to vividly dream [while high] of o t h e r people. i will go ahead and do the same, and skip continuing this game. and you’re not the only one to blame after all you’re just the same as the rest of those dreamers i’ve forgotten && i burn one to put your memory to rest in peace[es]
this was march and things haven't changed much.
I’M NOT SURE when I started to lose control first.
It might have been with G. He was my first real love, and I was an impressionable 17 years old. But when I fell for him, he happened to be already in a relationship: With himself. Which left plenty of room for me to please him, but little emotion returned to say the least. Oh, of course It made me happy to be with him, but I never felt...
“So close to death she can taste it, body looks wasted.
Hates life, hates you,...”
– Dead Celebrity Status
paper people
paper people praying to please. paper people please, remember how it feels to have weight. your problems are written as bold as your fate, doomed to blow away in the wind: [we send/ our regrets/ your way] inches you fade, if only you’d trade, that dissatisfaction for a fraction a glimpse of what we really see. all that you can be, i’ve watched it spill through your hollow hands, and...
i woke up still holding your hand.
eye [s open]
woke up today and found you,
in the middle of the night shining
b r i g h t [+er]
like the sun
or the stars!
thus far,
just your glance may put your words to shame
[and they are so pretty]
but I blame
your hands for spoiling me.
I will never compensate with the touch of another,
and,
dizzy_blearywakingupnexttoyou
I cannot sleep,
your fingers still holding mine
and all I can...
“HAECCEITY hek-see’i-tee, n (Latin, from haec, this) : The aspect of...”
– http://phrontistery.info/favourite.html
9 tags
i shouldn't have
i shouldn’t have told my lover i starve.
i felt the need to be open, to get attention —-for someone to notice how hard it is for me. but i shouldn’t have told him. i really shouldn’t s p e a k those words out loud.
now his eyes see through me, and he knows i’m damaged, and i’ll never be that perfect little thing he fell in love with. it’s all fine if you...
I A M T R A P /PED _I N /SIDE T HI S BODY AND...
Im on a roll, Im on a roll this time I feel my luck could change. Kill me sarah, Kill me again with love, Its gonna be a glorious day. Pull me out of the aircrash, Pull me out of the lake, Im your superhero, We are standing on the edge. The head of state has called for me by name But I dont have time for him. Its gonna be a glorious day! I feel my luck could change. Pull me out of the aircrash,...
6317.) I'm my parents biggest disappointment.
(via blogsecret)
6114.) When you sit on my bed and play my guitar,...
(via blogsecret)
i know exactly how this will play out,
at least
i’m prepared.
6119.) I want to know where you see us 10 years...
(via blogsecret)
6054.) I feel powerless when I can't cheer you up....
(via blogsecret)
waking up late
always best to go
without saying
goodbye.
“HAPPINESS in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
– Ernest Hemmingway
“REAL LONELINESS is not necessarily limited to when you are alone.”
– Charles Bukowski
just briefly
wondering
if i’ve wasted all this emotion on you.
just briefly
noticing
how unhappy i am.
i close my eyes
SO I NEVER ACCEPT WHAT IS GOING ON„ i take all those pills so sleep will come i hold tight my tongue to keep inside: the key to my soul that burns me to hide. i waste my money to feed my head so my body isn’t hungry and when i’m dead: i won’t have known really what goes through your mind. just only the things left unspoken in mine. dissatisfaction is fine, when it’s...
“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.”
– Winnie the Pooh
5466.) I'm in love with someone I've never even...
(via blogsecret)
8 tags
falling [ in a hole you will never escape ]
the time passed slowly, yet it passed : you know we f ] e l t a] l ]ast l ]ttle i ]nstance of g] limmer that got slimmer and slimmer with the progress of time. i am fine, yet you remain —-always the same, lets rearrange your mindset. the point is to remember never to forget best to go back get it over with if love is a battlefield, you need to look upon the warzone before fire i have...